A Real Sunday Hangover

Iowa 13 - Wisconsin 17
Could this game have been any more like the Texas Alamo Bowl? No rhythm either way, nobody could get anything going. A sketchy call, lots of opportunities, playing against a higher-ranked, strongly favored opponent. We played pretty well, just couldn't quite pull the trigger, especially without Brodell + Moeaki. Don't worry, our 3 biggest receiving threats are done for the year. Oh, and people were playing us 9 in the box to start the season. Welcome to being a starting quarterback in the B10.
The D played out of their minds, they got run down by the freaking cows of the Wisconsin offensive line. Don't worry that #5 facemasked a guy as he was getting tackled, when Witvoet chose to call the penalty on Dalton. Don't even get me started with the fumble into the endzone. How can a whistle with arms waving be inadvertent? And when Edds starts freaking out and running with his arms pointing Iowa ball, I'm guessing he's not going to block for his guy who's got the ball; he thinks the plays dead and we got it. Sigh. We still should have won, had lots of chances. Not being able to put points up after that BITCHIN' kickoff hit by Jaime Murphy, that hurt.
I still think we could end up okay. Definitely need a win against James F'ing Hardy. At home, against Indiana, I think we should be all right.

Illinois 27 - Indiana 14
Illinois finally won a conference opener. The Zooker had to be pleased. Maybe he even knew they were playing a football game. I wouldn't put the farm on it, though. Don't worry, Hardy got a TD...I think if you're the IU coach, you do everything you can to keep getting him the ball. I don't care if he's sextuple-covered, you throw him a jump ball and see that happens. I'd take my chances. Especially given Iowa's pass-offense options right now.

Michigan State 31 - Notre Dame 14
Pure awesome. That's all that needs to be said about that. Karma's getting Charlie W. back for being an arrogant bastard. But hey, the Domers got in the endzone...twice! That's improvement folks. As long as ND is 0-4, I won't feel so bad about Iowa struggling. No TD for Caulcrick, touchdown whores everywhere mourned. ND continues their Big10 tour next week with Purdue.

UM 14 - Penn State 9
Mike Hart did everything, again. Surprise. He's still a bitch. I respect him, but I don't have to like him. The Big10 is totally f'd up this year, it's going to be another clusterfuck @ the top. Every team will have at least 1 loss, I don't think OSU/UM/UW have the horses to make it through unscathed. Hopefully it will come down to some awesome tiebreaker like who didn't play a D2 team. Nobody's that good, apparently. Weird year.

Ohio State 58 - Northwestern 7
Saw this game at the gym a little bit. I know that OSU is pretty decent [at least on defense], but I think NW must be really, really bad. Of course, we'll probably have to scratch tooth+nail just to stay in the game, but I disgress. Is Brett Basanez really still playing? I have no idea how that's possible. You'd think after 20 years in the B10, he'd at least have some kind of cool nickname that has been heard outside of Evanston. Look at Chris Wells, he was Beanie before even hitting Columbus. Why can't Brett get a little of that lovin'?

Purdue 45 - Minnesota 31
This is actually closer than I thought it would be. The homefield advantage must have given UM a big push. Highlight of the game for the non-interested watcher: UM picked up a blocked kick, was running towards the end zone, and dropped the ball. He just dropped it. It wasn't Don Beebe/Leon Lett, he just dropped it. Dear God, we need to beat the Fucking Gophers. Floyd of Rosedale is a ridiculous redneck trophy, but dammit, it's our ridiculous redneck trophy.

Ok, more thoughts to come.
FYI - Kansas had more votes in the AP than Florida State. I love it.

Live-Blog Style From Seattle

I love that I can walk into a "sports bar" in Seattle, and not have to worry about finding a seat for a dozen people. Let's just say that people aren't super concerned about their Saturday football here in SeaTown. But, they do have wireless in the bars, which is toiight. We have a variety of fans here. Farrell + I are pulling for Iowa, Kray + Smruti (Georgia), and Caber (Texas). I am obviously not rooting for Texas, and will pray to the Gods of football for Saban to lose. He's a piece of shit, that's all.
(all times PST)
4.49 - nothing exciting to report...apparently Harrell from TTU went for 645 yards today, with a 9.8 average. Why doesn't every team do that? You dink+dunk all the way down te field, and you make 2/3 of your passes, because they're all easy and safe. It works against Iowa.
4.52 - Toldeo14 ISU7...how does Iowa State play good against only us? WHOTHEFUCKTHEWHAT?!?!
4.59 - ND lost, and apparently one of the articles on an Irish web-place says they're happy with the prgoress. Guys, you lost @ home...to Michigan State. I know you finally got an offensive TD, but how is that progress?
5.01 - I'm nervous, we're showing highlights of Tyler Donavan running all over us, and I don't like it. It's a weird game, we could get totally rolled, and I wouldn't be surprised, or win, and I wouldn't be surprised.
5.04 - So we got Satellite Party, 50 Cent + Kelly Rowland doing the pre-game montage. Odd mix. Especially considering it's a Wisconsin-Iowa game. I'm pretty sure most Wisconsinites have no idea who 50cent is.
5.07 - I'm naming my firstborn son Limas, I don't care about anything.
5.08 - Apparently there's a USC party in the back room of this joint. I'm very fine with that, if it means I don't have to mix my oxygen with those motherfuckers.
5.10 - Here we go! Come on HAWKS!!!!
5.14 - We're recieving...Shocker.
Sooo....AY up the middle twice, play-action incomplete to Moeaki? Sounds good KOK.
5.15 - Well, no run up the middle, empty backfield with the shotgun...But we throw it to a guy who's running straight upfield. Beautiful.
5.16 - And, we call a TO 55 seconds in. I was making fun of Illinois State for doing that 2 hours ago. Ahhhh, hubris. Maybe Jake's trying to calm me down. I need it.
5.17 - 3 & out. And I didn't even see it coming!
And a shanked punt...tight.
5.20 - 3 straight passes by UW...Somebody needs to inform Bielema this is not how UW has traditionally played football. Thankfully, Donavan overthrows a guy in the endzone.
5.22 - FUCKING YES!!! SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE BLITZ!
5.23 - Easy swing pass, give Jake a little confidence. Please don't F this up, Hawks.
Welcome to the psyche of an Iowa fan.
5.25 - The reverse didn't work against Texas. Bad time to try it, we're not totally retarded on offense yet.
5.27 - When you need a 37 yard punt, Donahue is your man.
5.29 - We've got some Wazzu fans cheering against USC. That should be fun hearing them go back + forth. At least back + forth for the first half, until USC starts beating the piss out of them.
5.33 - I've completely stopped paying attention to any other game.
5.37 - Damn, Bucky is is bringing it.
5.41 - D is looking pretty solid.
5.42 - Mini-Update: Tennessee is pulling away, Texas has pulled away, and UGA is still tight with Bama. USC fans and their team still are sons of bitches, however.
5.46 - Brodell's down. Sweet Jesus, do we need that? I think not, Jesus. A little divine help would be nice.
5.48 - They are throwing all over the place, and we haven't gotten a PI yet. I'm confused. Apparently Tom Knight went white + replaced Shada tonight.
5.51 - JAKE, PLANT AND THROW. YOU'RE A QUARTERBACK, IT'S WHAT YOU DO.
5.53 - Houndstooth visors = not cool. Somebody tell the Alabama girls.
5.57 - Rice players, down by a lot, are standing around staring at each other and giggling a little bit. I wonder what it's like to be on the team that's losing by that much. What do you talk about? Is it a Bull Durham kind of convo. Or what?
6.02 - Good to see the bubble screen after its inexplicable disappearance last week. Although without Brodell and Stross, we have no more skinny white boys to throw to. So that makes it hard.
6.07 - Well, we're still in it, that's a good thing. It's been a weird game. No rhythm whatsoever.
6.11 - How do we get pressure against UW and absolutely nothing on ISU?
Yeah, I'm still thinking about that game
6.12 - Minny-Purdue has officially started. I'm ready to enjoy the enjoyment.
6.13 - Is their punter on roids? Seriously. This kid is Nick Gallery x2
6.20 - Ian's observation: "teh ball is going from the 20 to the 20." Very true.
BTW, Cleveland dropped a ball that would have been our biggest play of the night. Granted, it was 11 yards, but it would have been nice.
6.22 - People are here, and I'm feeling awkward with my computer. Peacin' out.

Wednesday Hangover Recap

Iowa 35 - Syracuse 0
Iowa rolled Syracuse. It was disgusting. And let's say this: the 'cuse is a terrible team. That is undeniable. And until Brodell's great return that set us up in Orange territory. Then, huge sigh of relief, and I looked at the Iowa-Tolerant Girlfriend (ITG) and told her the game was over. Sure enough, it was. Jake to Tony was all day, Mattison was out of his mind, and KennyWeb remembered that he was supposed to be good and pulled an AppSt. on the SU field goal unit. The rest, you've I'm sure read on HawkCentral, HawkMania, or perhaps Black Heart Gold Pants, a far, far superior Iowa blog.

But, here are my other miscellaneous thoughts:
-I love night games. I don't care that we got smoked by UThug + tOSU in the previous 2 games. Kinnick at night is electric. And drunk. That makes it fun too.
-Good to see some young guys getting significant playing time. I had just entered the whole roster into NCAA08 for our 360, and went from having no idea who Dezman Moses was to "Hell yeah, Dezman Moses is a beast!!" Didn't seem like there was too drastic of a drop-off in talent. Syracuse was able to move the ball a bit, but holding the shutout was super tight.
-Sandeman = O Button
Another happy-feet kid from Bettendorf? I'm down.
-Onto ISU, more on that later


Michigan St. 28 - Bowling Green 17
Caulcrick with 1 TD on 53 yards. Still a touchdown whore. Apparently BGSU was up in this one for awhile. Considering they beat Minnesota, maybe MSU isn't such hot shit, because everybody is saying how much Minny sucks. Just an FYI: BGSU's kicker is named Sinisa Vrvilo. I'm not sure who the villian in the upcoming Indiana Jones movie is, but if I was a movie exec, I'd name him Sinisa Vrvilo.


Purdue 52 - Eastern Illinois 6
This barnburner surprisingly took place in W.Lafayette, not the greater Charleston, Illinois area. Not surprisingly, PU shitkicked the...Bulldogs (? I think that's it. Nobody in Chicago ever repped EIU gear). Painter went for 6TD's. Good thing Joe Tiller's such a classy guy.


Northwestern 36 - Nevada 31
Somehow NW eked this one out. Apparently Nevada snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, blowing a 24-10 lead to the ultra-explosive 'Cats. And yes, I know Iowa lost to NW, and I really shouldn't be talking shit. But I'm banking on the last 20 years of history. So shove it, Evanston-ers.

Ohio State 20 - Akron 2
Your halftime score in this game? OSU 3-2. Baseball, it was not. I'm sure the horseshoe was rockin' for those first 30 minutes. Should the Bucks be concerned that their starting QB threw 2 picks to Akron? Maybe they were tipped balls, something crazy. Either way, a great warm-up for tOSU to venture out to Seattle for the most called upset of Week 3. I don't put it past UW to get the victory. It's the biggest game in Seattle in years, and apparently Rick Neuheisel is no longer coaching for the Huskies, which is a good thing.


Minnesota 41 - Miami (OH) 35
Minny goes to OT with another MAC team, hilarity ensues. Actually, minus the hilarity, and add no defense, shitty play, and a terrible "stadium." There's your UM-UM game. The Gophers attempted 54 passes, and still had more rushing yards. Somebody remind Brewster that Minnesota's history includes Marion Barber and Lawrence Maroney, thus...stop throwing the ball. Outlandish prediction of the day: Minnesota's hopes of an undefeated season will come crashing down when Cincinatti comes to town. Minnesota's attempts at the weakest non-conf ever will finally come back to haunt them.


Michigan 7 - Oregon 39
624. That's how many yards Oregon came away with. Holy shit that's a lot. Ron English, next HC for the M+B? Hmmm, doubtful. Unless the 'Verines go unbeated the rest of the way, the entire staff has got to be on its way out. Henne (read: Whipping Boy) is out for next week against ND, which will probably be Michigan's easiest game so far of the season. Even with the first two performances Big Blue has turned in, Angry Mike Hart has guaranteed a win. Just call him little 'Sheed. At this point, Michigan has become the Britney Spears of the B10, I keep hoping they might turn it all around, but I just don't believe that they're going to. And it will keep getting worse, and worse.


Penn St. 31 - Notre Dame 10
Anthony Morelli is trying to do his best Drew Tate impression, except that he wasn't that good in the first place. PSU is college's Baltimore Ravens, or so it appears. I'd put JoePa out there at QB, if I were coaching. He'd beat ass if somebody didn't catch something he threw. And somehow I think the kid who got arrested for beating someone's ass is playing. I'm not bothering to look up names or info, but come on PSU, you seem kinda respectable still. Either way, thanks for beating the piss out of ND.


Illinois 21 - Western Illinois
The Juicer went 12-26 for under 200 yards. Not exactly an accomplishment against the Leathernecks. SI.com had no comments listed for this game. That pretty much tells the story.


Indiana 37 - Western Michigan 27
James Hardy with another 2TD catches, which brings his career total to roughly a bazillion [2/3 of which were against Adam Shada. Apparently the IU defense isn't super stellar. I'm guessing Western Michigan isn't that good this year [Kansas obliterated them the week before], so 27 points seems like kind of a lot. I'm sure that most of those points were in junk time, but still. Hey, at least they won, good job repping the B10, gentlemans.


Wisconsin 20 - UNLV 13
One of the WTF games of the week. UNLV is not good, but the Badgers struggled bigtime. I'm guessing BBielema took the boys out for a bit of entertainment on Friday night. I'll leave you to fill in the blanks there, but that's about all I can put together that would bring the mighty Badgers to such suckitude. The Big Peej still went for almost 150. Hopefully KF and the Hawks can find some holes in the tape to exploit. Not that I'm looking ahead or anything.

outside the b10
Northern Iowa 24 - Iowa State 13
The largest crowd ever in Ames got to witness this spectacle. That makes me happy in my pants. Bret Meyer became ISU's leading career passer, and was then replaced later in the game. Quite a paradox GChiz is rocking. I know the clones dumped a lot of turnovers, but it wasn't really close all of the second half. Sounds like the Clones secondary is pretty sorry, forced only 6 incompletions in 29 passes. All in all, a good omen for this Saturday.

Sunday Hangover Recap

Iowa 16 - Northern Illinois 3
Jake's first start, half the Oline's first start, and Douglas and Bowman probably getting hyped for the big NASCAR race this weekend. It wasn't a pretty show, but it was an Iowa win, which after last year, I'll try to be okay with. The OL gave Jake pretty good protection, but somebody needs to tell him the happy feet works for Peyton Manning, less for JC. Obviously, he was nervous, blahblahblah, but taking a little bit off of the 8-yard throws will probably help our hands squad out a little bit. The receivers were rough, lots of drops, and I'm vacillating between the two camps who are saying that this is either a serious problem, or something that can be fixed quickly and easily. AY + Sims looked good, both 100+, and Sims would have had much more if not for another fantastic Dave Witvoet call, this time holding on Moeaki. Bottom line, we need to score more points. 16 on 383 yards is not going to get it done in the b10.
Defense looked pretty damn good. I only dropped the F-bomb once, surprisingly Adam Shada was involved in the interaction. Godfrey had a freakish pick early on, and played a hell of a game. Mitch looked good...if 'motor' is really one of Kiper's major draft criteria, the kid's gotta be a top-10 pick. Obvious hyperbole, roll with it. It was pretty clear that NIU isn't exactly Wisconsin, or even Michigan State, but the front 7 looked really, really good. Nice to see Iwebema get a sack early on. Hopefully the boys can stay healthy and keep it up.
Special teams...yikes. I think I have to admit that Kaeding got me, along with the entirety of the Iowa brethren, spoiled. That said, how do you miss a GD extra point? I mean, what else does Signor do in practice besides kick? He's getting a free college education because he can kick a little ball a long ways, and then fails to kick said little ball 20 yards. Something doesn't add up there. Whenever our punter would trot out in HS, he was told specifically "don't suck." Hopefully the Iowa K's hear the same. Kick coverage was better than last year, but not great. Bernstine was a liiiitle too excited, methinks. I just wish he would have laid the kid out a little more if he is planning on hitting the returner so early. Brodell had a nice return along the sideline, after that play was the first time I wasn't extremely nervous that NIU was going to score first.

Obviously some work to do...but we're 1-0. Hopefully much more of this to come:


Michigan St. 55 - UAB 18
Apparently UAB has a football team. And they're not very good. Good win for D'Antonio, but I think MSU would take anything after the mountain-climbing SOB JohnL. Jehruu Caucrick went for 4TDs on 93yds rushing. I think that might officially put him in the Brandon Jacobs Touchdown Whore Club. You might as well draft him now for your fantasy keeper leagues.

Penn St. 59 - FIU 0
Good job guys, nice warm-up. I would say watch out next week when you're playing a real team, but I think ND's next. I hope JoePa skull-fucks Large Charles to an equal degree.

Ohio St. 38 - Y'town St. 6
The AP starts out their recap claiming OSU doesn't miss Troy Smith, AGon, etc. They probably wouldn't have missed anybody off of their 2-deeps if the 3rd-stringers had to play the game. One of the new receivers, Dane Sanzenbacher, caught a 1-yd TD. Somehow that name is a bit less intimidating than Ted Ginn, Jr. The Big Bean, Chris Wells, had a bit of a rough going, likely too stunned by a Columbus paper stating he was a Heisman candidate. I mean, I'm a homer, but come on now...

Northwestern 27 - Northeastern 0
Well, definitely a better start than last year for the Wildcats in the battle of directional juggernauts. Apparently one of NW's corners led the team in tackles. Usually a bad sign. I don't really have anything else to say. Next week they have Nevada, who will maybe pose a bit more of a challenge.

Michigan 32 - Appalachian St. 34


You might have heard about this game. If you turn on your computer/radio/television/mobular phone/flashlight , it will probably give you the full rundown, as well as exactly who from the Michigan Athletic Department will be gone by Tuesday [it is a holiday weekend after all].

Wisconsin 42 - Washington St. 21
People up here in the PacNW told me that Wazzu would be able to stick with the real U-Dub, and I pretty much started laughing. But for the first half, it was definitely a game, and in my mind, I was thinking "shiiiiiiiit." We already had one b10 look really, really stupid, and do not need another. Apparently, Bielema is throwing up a big middle finger to PJ Hill and UW Tradition and throwing the ball. A lot. Donovan attempted 29 passes, and Hill rushed for 84 yards. Color me confused. But in the end, it was another ass-beating. My money says Alvarez will slap BB into submission in order to ride PJ Hill into the ground, Herm Edwards-style. Hopefully that happens by 9/22.

Missouri 40 - Illinois 34
Hmmmm....2 of my top 3 most hated teams. I was hoping for Zook + Pinkel to outdo themselves and somehow work out a 0-0 double loss. Unfortunately for the Illini, The Juice got knocked the hell out like Debo in Friday. And as hard as the Zooker gameplanned and fought for his team, they just couldn't get it done. Think The Little Engine that Couldn't. Backup QB Eddie McGee threw for 250+, but ended up tossing 2 picks, and going Ronnie Harmon on the goal line. I actually felt bad for the Illini, they would have had a good shot against a "good" Mizzou team with Juice in the game. But, the sympathy was short lived. I still hate both teams. Maybe it's just me, but Chase Daniel seems to have an eerie resemblance to Big Ben Rothlisberger.

Purdue 52 - Toledo 24
All I know is that Toledo should have beaten Iowa State last year, and Purdue has no defense. Other than that, I don't really care much about this game. Hi-5 Purdue, let's move on.

Indiana 55 - Indiana St. 7
Congrats to Indiana in their first win after losing Coach Hep. If Iowa didn't play the worst game of their lives against IU last year, I would be pulling for them. Oh, don't worry, Hardy went 3-153 and 2 TD's. Seriously. Can we bring back Ryan Bain to just snap his fibula and save Adam Shada from 8 pass interference call's each time we're on defense? As for IU, they might get a bit of a test against Akron, but it will be hard to see where they're really at until the Illinois game in a few weeks. Lewis to Hardy is a legit combo in CFB this year.

Minnesota 31 - Bowling Green 32
It seemed like the folks from the Great White North were pretty excited for their team: new coach, new field upcoming, things were going to turn around. Let's back that bus up for another year or so. Credit the Gohps for coming back from 21 down, but it looks like they still have a ways to go. Might want to start with the pass defense, who gave up 400+ to the brown+orange. Nice CO Jones shown by the BGSU coach, going for 2 to win it, instead of sitting for the OT.

Other games of interest to only me:
Kent St. 23 - Iowa St. 14
Fuck and yes.

Kansas 52 - Central Michigan 7
Mangino was hungry.

Notre Dame got slapped by GaTech. I don't care enough to look up the score, but that makes me happy in pants.

All in all, solid week 1. Praise God football's back.